I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize