Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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