Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
