she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
