My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
