Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
