ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
