she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
