i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
