I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
