Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
