Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
