is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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