Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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