so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize