Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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