Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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