No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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