I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
