So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
