i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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