i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
