try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
