it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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