Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
