I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
