fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
