you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Im part way to drunk.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
