ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
