whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
