Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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