you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
