that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
