your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
