friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize