I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
