i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
honey bunches of taint.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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