Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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