i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
