What a fucking waste of an outfit
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
