doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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