Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
