Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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