You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
