Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The best revenge is premature balding
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize