I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
