No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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