yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
