I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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