guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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