i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
