i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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