Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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