Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to sanitize my soul.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
