we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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