I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found puke in my bra..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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