Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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