OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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