the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
