it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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