I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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