Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
