who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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