i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
