Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
