why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
