You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
