I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
