I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize