Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
