What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
