She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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