she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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