This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
