Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
