I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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