He had one of those small greek statue penises
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
