just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
