spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
