new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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