Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
