she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
