I think im going to throw up on grandma
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She even gives head with a lisp.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
