At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
