we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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