I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
